It took me a while to get the courage to log back into blogspot - seeing as my baby blog was previously here. I had to copy the layout and saw how far I'd be today.. 13 weeks and 1 day. Thaaaat sucks.
A brief intro since I never published that other blog for the most part (although, if you are reading this, you probably know me already..) I'm Shannon, husband is Alex. We've been struggling to conceive since September 2010 and suffered miscarriages in November 2010, May 2011, and an ectopic pregnancy that resulted in the loss of my left tube in November 2011. Yes, November is a shitty month for me.
I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) and low progesterone from weak ovulation. I release immature eggs (lol, immature? me? no way..) and they don't produce enough progesterone so even when I do conceive naturally - it's just a matter of time before it will be a loss. Awesome news to hear, right?
My first 2 pregnancies were natural cycles - although in May, I was on progesterone suppositories and even progesterone injections for a while but that just sustained the nonviable embryo for a bit longer. My ectopic pregnancy was the result of my third Clomid 50mg (a follicle stimulating fertility medication) + Ovidrel Trigger (an HCG shot to make my follicles release an egg) and my first IUI (intrauterine insemination... sounds so sexy and romantic, right?).
The "funny" part about my ectopic pregnancy was that the embryo implanted in the left tube. Not so unusual.. except I ovulated from the right side. I was very closely monitored, like every woman should be while taking fertility medications, and know for a fact I ovulated 2 follicles from the right and none from the left. The doctors were shocked to find the little embryo hanging out in my left tube after a week of blood tests and inconclusive ultrasounds. Maybe I should just go into the whole ectopic story, since it explains my "lonely tube" and its "adventures"...
This is copy and pasted from my private journal, with a few edits:
On Saturday (11/26) I had a final beta done and it came back around 1800 - Thursday it was 1500 so we knew this was not a viable pregnancy and ectopic was pretty much the decision as the ultrasound on Thursday showed an empty uterus. Since I wasn't in pain and was only brown spotting, the doctors did not have me come in for a methotrexate shot and Monday would be the decision day.
I already knew inside that this wasn't going to end well, but Alex had hope that something would be there in my ute and this would all work out fine. I didn't have the heart to try to convince him otherwise and just let him be happy for the weekend.
Monday morning, my appointment was at 11:30am and Alex and I had barely gotten sleep the night before due to upcoming colds. I was excited to get the appointment over with and come home and sleep. Sadly, that wasn't going to be possible for hours. The ultrasound went sort of how I expected - nothing in the uterus. What I wasn't expecting was the ectopic to be on the left side. I didn't ovulate from that side, so there was no reason an egg should have been in my left tube. The embryo inside the gestational sac in my left fallopian tube measured 5w5d and while a heartbeat was detected, although they can't 100% say for sure it wasn't mine - it did differ 15bpm from what mine was measured at later. The sonographer had to go find a doctor to determine our next steps and so we stayed in the ultrasound room for a while. I had scratched my eye the night before and that pain was keeping me occupied from being upset or crying about what was going on. Blinking, looking around, etc all felt like someone was scratching my eye - so I wasn't having a good day overall.
Finally, we were moved to an exam room and I was able to see a doctor. My doctor wasn't available but the one I saw was nice enough. She confirmed the ectopic, and due to the size/heartbeat, I would not be leaving the building any time soon. They were not comfortable sending me home due to the risk of my tube rupturing and with the size, it would have been life threatening. I needed a laparoscopy with a possible tube removal. We were also given the option of a D&C, which is basically cleaning out the uterus. We decided right away that they can do that as well, I didn't want to go through recovering from surgery and then 'miscarrying' the lining of my ute at home as well. We waited in the room again for the surgery scheduler/insurance chick to come in.. surgery was set for 5pm (it was around 12/12:30) and I wasn't allowed to leave - nor was I allowed to eat or drink anything. It SUCKED.
The surgery scheduler walked me down to the hospital so I could be registered for same day surgery. I think afterwards they were supposed to bring me to a care suite to relax for a few hours but instead, I was pretty much brought to pre-op right away. The hospital was pretty neat - the waiting area had an LCD that ran with updates & Alex got a pager. The screen showed what time a patient went into pre-op, when they are in the OR, when they were in post-op and also phase 2 (I don't think I ever went to phase 2..this was moved to discharge area but I left right from the recovery room). The pager allowed Alex to walk around the hospital, cafeteria, etc and the screen would show him when he should expect the doctor to come out and such.
Anyway, I went into pre-op around 2pm and got all checked in, signed my consent forms, changed into my gown and slipper socks and settled in for a wait. Alex got to sit back in my pre-op room which was awesome, and I had a comfortable reclining chair, pillows and a blanket. Naturally, I was always warm and my gown hooked up to a little air conditioning hose which was really cool too. I mostly texted my mom & friends. I was too nervous to nap, although at 4pm the sleepies and nausea really hit me. I was able to take a dissolving Zofran for the nausea and a super small sip of water! How exciting. 5pm came and surgery was pushed to 5:30-6pm..ugh. I met with the doctor and the anesthesiologists and was really not too nervous - I really wanted to get it over with and go home. Thinking back, I'm surprised how calm and collected I was.
Finally, around 5:45pm, I said goodbye to Alex and walked with the anesthesiologist to the operating room. I'm glad they told me prior that not all the tools in there were for me because there was a lot of stuff in the room. I laid down on the table, got covered up and they started getting me all positioned and getting my IV in. I had an oxygen mask on (they said it was pure oxygen, I wonder if they slipped some sleepy stuff in it though, lol) and then let me know they started pushing the anesthesia through my IV and I don't remember anything after that.
Next thing I remember was being very nauseous, in pain, and freezing. I was literally shaking from being so cold. I was in the main recovery section of the hospital as the same day section was closed. The nurse asked me to rate my pain, how I felt.. I think I told her an 8 and that I was really nauseated, it is hard to remember specifics. They gave me some more IV painkillers and anti-nausea stuff, and put the heater hose on my gown and covered me with blankets. I remember looking at the clock and I think it was around 8:30 and was worried because the surgery was at 6pm and was only supposed to take an hour. I think I fell asleep a few times for a moment or two, but finally, after about a half hour, I started feeling well enough to sit up. They kept offering me crackers and water and I had to let them know I had celiac and could not eat crackers. I guess I was supposed to have an allergy band on and didn't, but I wasn't even going to be eating gluten free crackers. They got jello and popsicles but I was still so nauseous, I declined.
Around 9:30, I asked about Alex and the results of the surgery (I'm such a mean wife, I hadn't asked about him at all before that! lol.) and they let him come back there (they usually didn't let visitors back there since it was the main room most go back to their rooms after, but there was nobody else there so he could come back). He laughed at me, I'm sure I was silly. I could barely keep my eyes open and kept putting my head back and closing my eyes. I was really nauseated too which didn't help. They gave me a cotton ball soaked in peppermint oil to sniff to try and curb the nausea since they had maxed me out on drugs - and it actually did a decent job. Alex told me that they did need to remove my tube, that I could look at pictures of it later, my right side is healthy and looks good, the D&C went well, etc. I was way overwhelmed and was just like..okay whatever. I munched on ice chips and finally felt well enough to get out of bed. The nurses helped me get dressed, at least my shirt.. and they wheeled me to the bathroom. One of the nurses came in the bathroom with me (good thing I'm not pee shy) and it took me forever to go because of being numb and in pain when trying, it was kind of funny. The nurse was like "I can leave if you need me to.." and then we laughed about it. It's funny how much you don't care when you get out of surgery.. the nurse put my awesome hospital underwear and my pants around my ankles for me and pulled them up to my thighs before helping me up and flushing for me! Sober? I'd be a bit mortified. Then? I cared 0. She had to see how much discharge I was bleeding anyway so it wasn't a huge deal.
So now I was dressed.. walking sucked and I had a wheelchair ride anyway out to the car. I had 4 incisions and every bump and turn hurt. We went to Walgreens and Alex got me Vicodin (yay!), Apple juice, and super overnight pads (tampons weren't allowed so I needed these). and we went home. We were both EXHAUSTED. Alex's cold was at the super sucky portion and he sucked it up all day to be there for me. We did stay up for a bit after, Alex ate, I ate crackers so I could take a vicodin, and somehow wound up going to bed. Sleep was actually kind of easy, other than not really being able to walk or move, since I was still so drugged up. I slept for about 15 hours.
So that was my super fun first surgery experience.. Maybe one day, I'll hold a baby and read this story again to remember how rocky the journey was to get there. Hopefully.
Aaand there you have it, this is how I went from a 2 tube woman to one tube. My right side has been my good side throughout all my monitoring, so Adventures of a Lonely Tube begin in February when I get to go back on Clomid and drug up for my second IUI.
